By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
