i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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