when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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