He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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