We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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