Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
