Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
