So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
