Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
