I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
