My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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