I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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