wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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