sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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