Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize