you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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