I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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