In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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