wrigley field is MILF paradise
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So here I am, sexting at work.
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