I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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