So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize