I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
