I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
