Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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