U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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