Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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