sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
