also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
