I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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