I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
