my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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