Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
