Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
