I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
