He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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