do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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