so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
