He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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