I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
nutella sex= disaster
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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