I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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