Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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