Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
