So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
