All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
