I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize