We're facebook friends in real life
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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