Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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