is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
