I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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