You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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