im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
