Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize