one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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