just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
