you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
