It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
