remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
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BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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