Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
