You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
