On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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