So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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