you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
