he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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