I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
