then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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